Saturday, January 14, 2012

God's timing...

I wish I could ride a beautiful black stallion over the hills of Oklahoma...wouldn't that be nice? Maybe actually escape from stress...stress that I've been dealing with since October. Yeah my parents decided to "turn our lives around" because they were bad parents and needed to change their parenting style. This change was suppose to affect us all for the better...it was to take a hold on our sinful lives and help us become more obedient and loving children. At first I thought wow is this a joke? Really guys? My senior year you decide to be THOSE parents that I always made fun of and thought they had lost their minds? After having pride in the way my parents were because all my friends were so jealous and wanted parents just like mine. Yeah I was pretty upset and mad with my parents for weeks...I never wanted to forgive them...I felt like they had ruined my life. BUT eventually I learned to let it go and just keep on living life by the grace of God. I thought that after awhile all of this would just blow over and everything would go back to normal OR I thought maybe they had good reason for their craziness and something good would come from it. Now about four months later, the only good thing I've seen is that we get more school done. Yeah I love my parents and over this experience I have definitely learned to respect them and their decisions even if they seem completely ridiculous to me, but in all honesty I'm tired of it and I'm ready to move away and be done. I'm ready to make my own decisions and not have to be nervous for DAYS before asking my parents something simple like going to a friends house. I'm ready to be responsible for my own choices and life. I'm ready to decide how much time I spend with people or doing things. I guess you can say I have Senioritis and I'm done. The hardest thing for me is realizing that God has me here at this time for a purpose. My role model is my Grandfather, he has always been there for me and he is one of the Godliest men I know. The other day he told me that being content in a situation is knowing that God has a timing for everything and realizing that whatever the timing is it must be perfect because God's perfect. I'll never forget that. Even now, when I can't wait to "grow up" that piece of advise has and will help me more then I will ever now.