The Journey...

 So I recently had to write my testimony for something so I figured I might as well put it on here too :) So here ya go!
     As I looked into the deep, dark, smelly, snake infested water below I got this feeling of fear. The longer I stayed on that broken, rotten tree limb the closer I felt to the water. The only thing keeping me from falling into that water was that old tree limb. As a ten year old child, I was putting all of my faith and trust in that limb. How foolish I was to put faith in such an insecure item. My faith in Christ has been based so many times on insecure things such as, what I feel and and think. I began my walk with Christ at the age of five, I remember being amazed at the fact that someone could love me more then my Dad. One night after asking many questions and thinking about what Jesus had done for me on the cross, I made the decision to become a child of God by believing that Jesus died for me and asking Him to forgive my sins. That night I started a long journey with Christ that will not end until the day I leave this world and enter the presence of God. Faith in God came so much easier to me as a child because it did not matter if I could see him or not and I knew in my heart that He loved me. Although, through this journey as a teen I struggled with knowing that God loved me. I love to please people and whenever I see any hint of disappointment from someone I'm crushed. So I just figured that every day of my life was just a disappointment to God because I'm not perfect and sin. So why should He love me? Even today I struggle with this lie that Satan uses often to discourage me and unfortunately this is just one of many lies that Satan has used during my journey to throw me off course. But through these 12 years of having a personal relationship with my Creator, I have learned that God's love for me is unconditional and endless no matter how many wrong things I do in a day. As well as, that I should put my faith in the truth of His word that can sustain any lie Satan will ever bring my way. 
Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

My hero...

God's timing...

I wish I could ride a beautiful black stallion over the hills of Oklahoma...wouldn't that be nice? Maybe actually escape from stress...stress that I've been dealing with since October. Yeah my parents decided to "turn our lives around" because they were bad parents and needed to change their parenting style. This change was suppose to affect us all for the better...it was to take a hold on our sinful lives and help us become more obedient and loving children. At first I thought wow is this a joke? Really guys? My senior year you decide to be THOSE parents that I always made fun of and thought they had lost their minds? After having pride in the way my parents were because all my friends were so jealous and wanted parents just like mine. Yeah I was pretty upset and mad with my parents for weeks...I never wanted to forgive them...I felt like they had ruined my life. BUT eventually I learned to let it go and just keep on living life by the grace of God. I thought that after awhile all of this would just blow over and everything would go back to normal OR I thought maybe they had good reason for their craziness and something good would come from it. Now about four months later, the only good thing I've seen is that we get more school done. Yeah I love my parents and over this experience I have definitely learned to respect them and their decisions even if they seem completely ridiculous to me, but in all honesty I'm tired of it and I'm ready to move away and be done. I'm ready to make my own decisions and not have to be nervous for DAYS before asking my parents something simple like going to a friends house. I'm ready to be responsible for my own choices and life. I'm ready to decide how much time I spend with people or doing things. I guess you can say I have Senioritis and I'm done. The hardest thing for me is realizing that God has me here at this time for a purpose. My role model is my Grandfather, he has always been there for me and he is one of the Godliest men I know. The other day he told me that being content in a situation is knowing that God has a timing for everything and realizing that whatever the timing is it must be perfect because God's perfect. I'll never forget that. Even now, when I can't wait to "grow up" that piece of advise has and will help me more then I will ever now.