Miqra

It is always very amusing when you place a bunch of professors and bible college students together to discuss a biblical topic. Today, we all gathered together to study, evaluate, and begin to comprehend the trinity and it's purpose in the everyday life of a Christian. Many topics and ideas were brought to the table as you can imagine with the many denominations represented at SEBC. At the same time, everyone tended to lean towards a common understanding. God the Father, Son, and Spirit are all equally divine and work together in complete and perfect unison. The main aspect that I believe many had not grasped or maybe even thought about was how the trinity is the nature of community. The three persons of God are a community as a whole and lead by example to believers. Somehow this not being taught in our churches today and I truly believe that explains our lack of community. We have to be acting in unison with one another and using our differences as a drive towards furthering the gospel.

July 28th 2012

If I were to ask you, are you ready to die? What would be your answer? Most Christians today actually say, yeah I'm ready because I know I'm going to heaven. But are they really ready? If they had the chance to look at death itself in the face could they really say that they are ready to meet their Maker and hear him say, you have done well my good and faithful servant? I know for a fact I was ready...only because I did have the opportunity to look death in the face. July 28th is not only my birthday from this year forward but also the day that will forever be etched in my mind. The day that I almost watched my best friend die and then die with him. My family, friends, and I went to Corn Creek in Wetumpka for my birthday. We had some fun walking around in the creek and watching many attempt to swing off a rope into the water...yeah that was entertaining. Eventually some of the people walked back to the place where we had put all of our stuff and me and some others stayed behind to look around. We had put our stuff on like this "beach" and a little ways out in the water were these huge rocks you could climb on and past the rocks were the rapids where many people went kayaking. My brother Javan and one my closest friends, Jamal, decided they were going to swim through the rapids to get to this "island". Well as they were swimming, about half way, Jamal realized that he wasn't going anywhere and started drowning (I'm not entirely sure about all the details during this part) well he went into shock and couldn't gain control of himself. My brother went out to save him but he grabbed on to Javan and started pulling him under, so Javan pushed away and swam back up onto the "island" and started screaming for help. My other friends and I walked back up when Javan pushed him away. I thought they were just playing around because Javan was screaming until I realized the fear that was in my brothers voice. I thought something was wrong with Javan. Sarah and I just started running for the water and we both jumped in and just started swimming as fast as we could. Well before I knew it Sarah had stopped fighting the current and had gone downstream. So it was just me. It felt like there were hundreds of miles between Jamal and I. There was one point were I just felt totally hopeless...there was no way I could physically get to him in time. Of course I had a crazy amount of adrenaline pumping through my body and I had the strength of God because I did finally make it to him. When I was finally close enough to look him in the eyes I realized that I was about to lose my best friend. His pupils were huge and his eyes were glazed over...he had mentally gone into shock. I can not even begin to tell you what it feels like to look into the eyes of someone in that state of mind. I freaked out and made the worst decision I possibly could. I told him to grab my hand. He started pulling me under and wouldn't let me up. I only remember coming up one time for air. While he was holding me underwater I started thinking...this is it...I'm not going to make it up. I remember hearing my families voices and laughter...I saw the Hispanic kids that I have been spending so much time with...and then I saw this light. This light was so bright I remember shutting my eyes tightly and still being able to see it. All of a sudden something told me to punch Jamal. So I did. I punched him in the stomach and he jerked away from me. When I finally swam back up to the top of the water, I saw a man standing on the rocks. He had a scruffy brown beard and messy brown hair but his eyes were so calm and his voice was quiet. He looked right into my eyes and said "Just follow me Hallay and I will give you rest. Jamal will live. Just follow me." So I floated on top of the water and stared gasping for air. I was trying so hard to get control of myself because I knew time was of the essence. Finally I started swimming again and started talking to Jamal, leading him to the rocks. I just kept saying "Follow me Jamal" as I kept swimming towards the rocks. I would repeat over and over again "The Lord is my Good Shepherd, I will not walk in fear". Everytime he went under and came back up I would yell at him "Do not give up on me Jamal". The last time he went under he stayed under for a long time...I really thought in that moment that I would never see my dear friend again until finally he came back up. Javan walked out to us where the water was about at his shoulders and waited for us to get to him. As soon as Jamal got there we both grabbed his arms and pulled him up onto the rocks. I stuck my head into his chest because I had no other strength and I knew I had to hold him up. Gradually I felt myself fading. I knew I was losing myself...if that makes any sense. I remember asking my brother to hold me up and then everything goes blank. According to others, a man came over on his kayak and realized that I was unconscious so he put me on the Kayak. Now sometime after we got Jamal up on the rocks my friend Samuel swam over to help. But I don't remember. Anyways so Sam got me on the kayak and they took me back to the beach area and someone called 911. I have no idea what happened during this time but I know that everyone was scared. When the perimedics came they put an oxygen mask on me and did some other stuff. The first thing I remember thinking was...he is going to stick a needle in me. Now for those of you who don't know, I am deathly afraid of needles. After that everything is kind of blurry. Quite obviously I am fine now but the memories keep haunting my mind. I can still see Jamal's eyes and hear his voice yelling for help and begging me not to leave him. I can still see myself underwater and having no way of getting air. Physically I am so incredibly sore and I have been having headaches from the lack of oxygen. And you can see Jamal's fingerprints on one of my arms where he grabbed me. But honestly, I would do it all over again, allowing God to use me as a tool to save someone's life. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost Jamal that day. The fact that God allowed both of us to live is a mystery and testament to what he has planned for our lives. And on top of all of that I really do believe that the man standing on the rocks was my Guardian Angel. Not many people get to see theirs in their lifetime, but I did. Am I ready and willing to die? Yes. Are you?

The beauty of imperfection...

Some people would say that life is an adventure and you should live it up. My life is like trying to put together a puzzle using pieces from 10 different puzzles, it doesn't seem like this puzzle will turn out to be a very beautiful one. Nothing seems to fit right or make sense...and the more I try to make sense of everything the more confusing it gets. Only a few people know this but a month ago I was pretty much stripped of any and every social luxury I had, especially with someone who meant more then anything to me. I made some stupid choices out of sin and I am greatly paying the price. My mom has started a weekly bible study with me, she sees that I am totally and completely drained and so I guess she decided that by having a bible study with me maybe she could get me back on the right track. This past week she told me that when my siblings and I were kids she used to tell us that if we ever got lost in a store that we should always go back to the last place we saw her, and in the same sense I needed to go back to last time I really had a sound relationship with God and from what she can see that would be when my grandmother died. As soon as those words came out of her mouth I felt as if a bulldozer had hit me right in the chest and immediately the wall I have built up over my heart for so many years went up in a split second and I felt nothing. I have taught myself over the years to let everything go to my head, not my heart. Once I started listening to what she was saying I realized how right she was. I recently had the opportunity to write down my experience of my grandmothers death for a school paper. I have never opened up about it because I never saw it necessary. My mom read my paper recently and I guess realized that after almost 5 years, I'm still  grieving her death which in all honesty I've just recently realized myself. It's not that I am or was mad at God but that I was mad at myself. For the 13 years I had with her I feel like I wasted 90% of the time I ever had with her and when it came to telling her goodbye before she passed away...I was too overwhelmed to even give her the curtsy of saying goodbye. That is what has been eating me alive for 5 years. It has destroyed me emotionally and mentally and it has destroyed the relationships I have had with loved ones. I created such a strong wall to block out anyone that wants to come too close because I couldn't bear losing someone again who meant so much. Well now that I know what my problem is, I just have to find a solution. I do pray that one day I will be able to just live life again and have an open heart to God and those around me. I just pray that those who have had to suffer through my hard times, will be able to forgive me for any wrongs I have done to them and bear with me as I go through this process of healing a broken heart. Maybe all of my pieces aren't suppose to be from the same puzzle. Beauty doesn't come from perfection but rather imperfection.      

Trent Richardson...

So this past weekend we added a new member to our family! I named him after Trent Richardson! He is a HUGE black Lab Newfoundland mix. He is only a year old and already weighs 80 pounds! I take him running every day and he has a slight problem with stopping...oh well atleast it's getting me back into shape! Since I've been on a bit of restriction, I've been giving him every bit of my spare time and I hope he will turn out to be a very well trained dog. I can't wait to see how well behaved he will be in a few months! Or rather atleast not drag me around everywhere...haha

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

The Journey...

 So I recently had to write my testimony for something so I figured I might as well put it on here too :) So here ya go!
     As I looked into the deep, dark, smelly, snake infested water below I got this feeling of fear. The longer I stayed on that broken, rotten tree limb the closer I felt to the water. The only thing keeping me from falling into that water was that old tree limb. As a ten year old child, I was putting all of my faith and trust in that limb. How foolish I was to put faith in such an insecure item. My faith in Christ has been based so many times on insecure things such as, what I feel and and think. I began my walk with Christ at the age of five, I remember being amazed at the fact that someone could love me more then my Dad. One night after asking many questions and thinking about what Jesus had done for me on the cross, I made the decision to become a child of God by believing that Jesus died for me and asking Him to forgive my sins. That night I started a long journey with Christ that will not end until the day I leave this world and enter the presence of God. Faith in God came so much easier to me as a child because it did not matter if I could see him or not and I knew in my heart that He loved me. Although, through this journey as a teen I struggled with knowing that God loved me. I love to please people and whenever I see any hint of disappointment from someone I'm crushed. So I just figured that every day of my life was just a disappointment to God because I'm not perfect and sin. So why should He love me? Even today I struggle with this lie that Satan uses often to discourage me and unfortunately this is just one of many lies that Satan has used during my journey to throw me off course. But through these 12 years of having a personal relationship with my Creator, I have learned that God's love for me is unconditional and endless no matter how many wrong things I do in a day. As well as, that I should put my faith in the truth of His word that can sustain any lie Satan will ever bring my way. 
Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

My hero...